


My Heart Is Yours

by baeksbabygirl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Angst, M/M, also aphrodite is kind of a bitch, you may be emotionally damaged once finishing this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeksbabygirl/pseuds/baeksbabygirl
Summary: The powerful young god Jongin finds himself falling in love with a mortal that wants nothing to do with him. Although at first he wanted to show him the world, Jongin realizes to make Kyungsoo love him back, he needs to delve deeper into the mortal world and find what makes him happy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is hands down one of my favorite fics that I've ever written (so far), and I really hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Originally posted on LJ for kaisooaufest (noonediesthistime)

Apathy:

Standing by the open entry of the meeting hall, Jongin sighed, frustrated that not all of his aunts and uncles had arrived just yet. Even immortality ran with its curses, didn’t it?

He would have thought that at least the gods would have wanted these bi-annual meetings done as quickly as possible. Solstice only lasted so long and he planned on spending the majority of his time today on Earth, relishing in the feel of mortal flesh pressing against him. Letting himself get lost in the feel of a warm body beneath him tonight – ringing in a new season, and really just enjoying his immortality for all that it was worth.

“I would have thought to see you skip meetings like these.” Someone said lightly, coming up behind Jongin and eyeing him as he leaned against a pillar, trying to pass the time by staring off into the clouds above the coliseum.

Sun-young, or better known as Luna because of her uncanny resemblance to the titaness, raised a curious eyebrow at him, asking for an answer.

“And miss the fun of seeing the other gods fight with one another?” Jongin scoffed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. Luna knew that he was being sarcastic and she let a small smirk display on her lips before it was disappearing into her serious façade. The two of them were alike in some ways, though she had taken to immortality after he had, having first been human.

There was a silence then, which descended upon the entire coliseum, stretching across the already arguing gods and their children whom had decided to show up as well, if only to see the squabbles their parents got into. It was only right that they all fought. With a family so large, a history so vast and complicated, there were bound to be fights and disagreements.

Of course, it seemed that there was a disagreement every moment they were all together.

“Shall we now?” Jongin’s half-sister Athena announced, obviously in charge of corralling everyone together for the beginning of the meeting. Jongin was slow at moving towards the center of the ring, standing just at his father’s right hand side.

He was the only son of Zeus that ever dared come to these things. Especially with Hera looking him down every second she got.

There were other, lesser gods here, sons and daughters of the 12 Olympians. But even with a good sum of his cousins, nieces and nephews standing to the sides, he was the most powerful of them all. Not only as a son of Zeus, but as one of the eldest. Some had been granted immortality from their parents for showing hero-like courage while they were mortals, while others had died first before they were given a chance at immortality.

Jongin was one of the only ones to have been born immortal. And he had already seen too much in his many centuries.

He drowned out most of the meeting, his father doing the same until one of his brothers – Poseidon or Hades – brought up a topic that sparked his interest. And it really did, literally, spark his interest. With the power of thunder and lightning, everything in the room grew electric when Zeus lost his temper. There were times when his wife and Queen, Hera, needed to rest a hand on him, to calm him even slightly, and then there were other times when Zeus’ own children tried to calm him down. Athena and Artemis were the best at such things, with their level heads and calm voices.

Jongin could have learned something from them. He took too much after his father, and not enough after his mother.

His mother – immortal just like his father, the King of the Gods – was considered a lesser goddess. Still important to humanity, however, she was labeled as one of the Horae – a group of goddesses that led balance of both the seasons and times. His mother was named Thallo, goddess of spring and a protector of youth. However much older she was than Persephone, the younger goddess still stole all the credit for being a goddess of spring. Not that she needed an extra title. She was also proclaimed as Queen of the Underworld.

When the meeting adjourned, the gods and goddesses dismissing themselves with sighs of warranted disbelief, Jongin went to leave his father’s side only to be called back.

“My son.” Zeus’ reverberating voice seemed to echo through the entirety of the hall and Jongin stilled where he was, swinging around swiftly to stare up at his father, wondering what could possibly be so important to call him back. When the two came face to face, Zeus’ striking eyes changed from startling blue to ocher. Even if he was considered a Greek god, he could change his appearance at will. Tan skin and brown eyes hid his immortality well enough that Jongin tended to keep up that specific façade, above all else.

Jongin waited for his father to say something else, to tell him to be careful while he was on Earth, or not to damage the mortals too much while he stayed with them.

He had been known to damage quiet a few – boys and girls alike – in his years. Not that his father was any different than he was. In fact, Zeus was probably worse than Jongin was at times.

Without saying anything, Zeus dismissed him and then he was gone.

~

It made no difference to him, whether the mortal was male or female. He just wanted a warm body beneath him tonight, wanted to feel something other than apathy towards his immortal existence. There was only so much he could do in so many years and it had seemed that after so long he had become sick of the same thing happening all the time. Family meetings were too close in between and so were tasks to be done for his cousins, brothers and sisters.

It was much better pretending to be mortal for a night and burying himself deep inside someone, hearing their voices and delicious moans travel through a hollow home, sometimes even a hovel in a small town. And then he would find himself smirking as he heard voices in the distance, wondering who was getting laid tonight – and by whom.

There were too many gods like him that came down to Earth that the mortals should have known who caused such reactions from their kin. Of course, it always surprised Jongin which sex was louder – especially as sometimes it was the men, while others it was the women.

It was like a guessing game every night, and he found himself lost in the pleasure as well, trying very hard to control his powers and not blow the roof off of their homes in his ecstasy.

It was this specific night, however, that someone actually walked in on him while he was nailing a woman from behind, not caring much for the way his naked body gleamed in the moonlight streaming in from the window. He was a god, he should never have been ashamed of his body.

What was more surprising was the fact that the man that had walked into the room did not appear angry, or even really embarrassed to see Jongin’s naked body shimmering before him, layered in sweat that was mostly the mortal’s beneath him. Gods did not sweat unless they wanted to.

“What do you want?” Jongin found himself asking, not caring too much as he continued to pound into the mortal woman, making her scream for the Heavens and curse under her breath. He grinned slightly at her use of language, but did not stammer in his pace, wanting to get off just as much as she did. He supposed he was doing a rather good job if she was trembling from just his touch. Jongin shook his head and grinned wide before glancing back at the man that had just stepped in, still not saying a word.

The woman beneath him didn’t even seemed phased that someone was watching her get wrecked from behind. Jongin wondered how often this happened for her to be so okay with it.

Or perhaps she was so far gone in her own pleasure that she didn’t even notice the stranger there.

“I’ll ask again…” Jongin started, “What do you want?”

But the mortal man still refused to say a word. Instead, he walked forward, ignoring the intimidating looks from the young god and instead placed a slip of paper on the nightstand for the young woman beneath Jongin. On his way out, the mortal turned back and scoffed at the scene before him.

“Happy Solstice.” He murmured, turning then to close the door soundly behind him.

Jongin ignored his words, or at least he tried to. He finished off with the woman beneath him, ravaging her body until both of them were well spent, and then he leapt off of her, clothing himself and disappearing into the night.

The only thing on his mind was the way that man’s lips had moved when he spoke.

~

It took him days to come to his senses, and even then, he wasn’t doing a very good job of doing so. He knew what happened when the gods became too enamored with a mortal. He had seen it with his own father, his cousins, his brothers and sisters. Had Jongin not seen the fate of all the mortals blessed with the loved of the gods?

Or was it more like cursed?

It didn’t matter now, though, because as he watched from afar his only thoughts were of watching the man from that night. He had seemed so completely unfazed by all that he had seen, and Jongin wasn’t sure if that was what drew him to the mortal, or if it was something else entirely. Perhaps it was the shape of his lips – which looked uncannily like a heart when he smiled – or the way his muscles jumped when he lifted the stones before him.

Jongin was watching the mortal build a brick wall around a small enclosure. He was not sure what it was for, but he found it fascinating how much effort and time the mortal spent in this project. If it were him, he would have hired someone else, or completely forgotten about it.

And he was the one with more time on his hands.

That was also the thing about mortals. Their lives were so short, and then they wasted their time on menial tasks such as this. Couldn’t he have been doing something else with his life?

But no matter what he was doing, Jongin found himself staring intently, eyes not leaving his frame for even a second.

It was about two weeks after he started watching the mortal that a few of the other gods started to notice something was vastly different about Jongin. They spoke up about it, too, and did not take too kindly to being ignored.

“Jongin, I hear that you’re rather enamored with a new mortal.” One of his nephews started. He was a son of Hermes and known as a trickster. Jongin would have rather thrown the lesser god off of a cliff than have to deal with his pestering.

“I’m not in the mood, Taeyong.” Jongin said, walking away from his younger, going as quickly as he could through the streets of Olympus. He spent so little of his time on Olympus these days, but there were things his father had asked of him this day and it was inevitible to stay away. Now he was forced to deal with the younger gods that did nothing but pester him of his own relations, especially his relations with certain mortals.

“Do you suppose you’ll be able to keep this one?” he asked, his question half a whisper. He then proceeded to let a little snicker follow, adding in, “All of your mortals have died on you in the past, haven’t they?”

Jongin had enough of younger god; quickly turning and letting his anger show clearly on his face, he stared him down. Taeyong took a step back and blinked a few times to compose himself, slinking down and a few inches away from a very angry son of Zeus. He knew that the son of the King of the Gods did not have a short temper, knew that he did not get angry quite as quickly or as often as his father did. But Taeyong – and all other gods – knew that there were still buttons not to be pressed when it came to Jongin.

“Leave me be and do not speak of my past.” He said, voice reverberating like thunder through an open sky. Taeyong bowed to his elder before stalking off through the streets, avoiding his uncle at all costs now.

When Jongin was finished with his father’s tasks, he went down to Earth to see the mortal man...

Kyungsoo had never left his family’s small estate, had not even left the country. It had never been much of a dream of his to travel, had never really sparked his interest to see the way others lived their lives. He was content enough living his own life. Living until he died one day, and then wondering what Elysium would look like.

If he even made it there in the first place.

Two weeks ago, when he had seen that man hovering behind his parents’ guest’s body, he had stilled. He hadn’t known what to do so he just stared.

It was obvious that the man was a god. Kyungsoo knew that much. It had been obvious in the way he looked so completely un-amused when Kyungsoo had walked into the room. It had been obvious in the way his body gleamed in the moonlight, the way he didn’t seem to sweat, and then in the way that he was able to continue pounding into that woman’s body even after Kyungsoo had walked in, not changing his pace and not seeming embarrassed at all by it.

Only a god would react so unabashed about something like that. Mortals had a little more decency, he felt.

Distracted while thinking of the god, Kyungsoo didn’t realize his mother was calling for him until she was screaming, hitting his arm and dragging him by his ear inside the house, pointing at the dishes and telling him that it was his turn to do them today.

How were there so many already when he had just done them yesterday? But he didn’t complain, just bowed his head to his mother and did as she said.

He still lived under their roof, as he was sure he would until the day he died. With an elder brother that had run off with his lover years ago, and a sickly father, there wasn’t much choice for his future other than to care for his family. And that included all of the guests that stayed in their home as well, sometimes even barring him from sleeping in his own bed.

Kyungsoo often slept on the porch, or on the small couch, rather than his own room. But if that meant someone else was comfortable and well, he would do it.

There was a knock on the open door then, a figure appearing and blinking out the sun from outside, which streamed down and told them it was midday. The figure was unfamiliar at first, but then Kyungsoo blinked and recognized him.

The god from weeks ago.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes going wide as he stared, the god taking a step inside his family’s home, and getting even closer to him with each passing second.

Rather than answer his question, the powerful god cocked his head to the side.

“Why do you let her treat you like that?” he asked. And for a moment, Kyungsoo was confused as to whom he was referring. But then he remembered the way his mother had dragged him into the house, telling him to do the dishes, and wondered how long the god had been watching.

Kyungsoo shook his head, “She’s not always like that.” He replied gently, voice softening for an unknown reason. Why was he growing softhearted in front of a god? Was it perhaps because the god seemed concerned, or another reason? Kyungsoo remained silent after saying as much, wondering what the immortal would do in reply.

With a raised eyebrow, he came closer and placed one hand on Kyungsoo’s, which was fastened on a dish that needed cleaning. The water was still running, but then the god turned it off, a little aggravated with the noise it made.

“Why don’t I help you?” the god asked, brown eyes softening when they stared at him.

And he wasn’t sure why he agreed to it, but he nodded silently and stepped aside, leaving room for the taller man.

Had Kyungsoo not known previously that this man was a god, he would have been fooled.

He looked almost exactly like any other mortal in the country, perhaps just slightly darker. But that was not a bad thing. In fact, Kyungsoo found it actually attractive, the god’s darker skin tone. Not only that, but his arms were corded with slight muscles, nothing too large, but just enough to make him feel secure standing beside him.

What was going on?

The god cleared his throat and Kyungsoo looked up from what he was doing, confused and taken aback when the god’s voice sounded through the small space between them.

“Did you not hear my question?” he asked, voice thick and powerful. Kyungsoo wondered what powers this god possessed and which, if any, of the Olympians would grow angry if he were to offend their son.

He was sure that he didn’t want to find out that answer.

When he shook his head, signaling that he had not heard anything the god had previously said, the tan god chuckled. It was a low sound and distracted Kyungsoo enough that he nearly dropped the bowl within his hands. The soapy water splashed back up at him just as he caught it and his face turned slightly red, embarrassed that he was so nervous. Though really, who wouldn’t have been nervous in the face of a god?

“Are you intimidated by me?” the god asked, head quirking to the side as he waited for the answer. He took the dishes that were already washed, drying them along the towel and waiting until he was handed another dish, waiting more than patiently – more patiently than Kyungsoo would have ever thought a god could wait.

He wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to Jongin, of course. Didn’t know what was an appropriate answer and whether saying yes would change the dynamic between them – if there was one to begin with. Kyungsoo barely knew this god, knew that he had just slept with one of his mother’s guests two weeks prior, and since then he had not seen or heard from the god.

Not that he had thought he would. But something in him was drawn towards the god and Kyungsoo felt himself shivering when he answered.

“If I answered yes, what would you say?” he asked in a whisper, not wanting his mother to hear him from outside. She was probably a few yards away at least, and he was surprised that she hadn’t seen the god even come into their home. He wondered what his mother would say if she saw someone like Jongin standing in their home, helping her son clean dishes.

The god chuckled, shaking his head before he replied, “I would tell you that you needn’t be intimidated by me, but I can’t very well control that.” And then, following by another deep laugh he said, “You can call me Jongin, by the way. I realize that we haven’t been formally introduced.”

Introductions meant that he wanted to get to know him – and Kyungsoo may or may not have wanted to get to know him as well, but he kept that to himself as he bowed his head and introduced himself.

The god was quiet for a long while, waiting for each dish without a word spoken between them. That was until Jongin cleared his throat and looked back towards the open door behind them, setting the now dry dish down and taking a casual step back, closing the door – closing them in the house alone.

“W-what are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked, eyes going a little wide. He wasn’t usually very intimidated by anything. In fact, he himself was probably one of the most intimidating people in the village. With his own toned muscles from working around the house, and then the looks he constantly gave because of his poor vision, most kids had ran away from him when they were children. Another reason why Kyungsoo had decided to stay at home and help his parents while his father was ill. It wasn’t like there were many people lining up to get to know him, or spend time with him.

Which was what made the god standing before him even more interesting – and frightening. Gods never did anything unless they had a motive, and Kyungsoo wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that he had walked in on the god only a few weeks ago.

“You don’t seem like the type to get out much.” Jongin mused, cocking his head to the side, “How would you like to go traveling with me?” it was a question that took Kyungsoo by surprise – something that he certainly hadn’t been expecting. And nothing he could actually agree to, even if Jongin was a god.

“What do you mean?” and this time Kyungsoo didn’t stutter when he replied, thankfully.

Jongin’s grin was brighter than it had been before, and when he settled to standing against the wall opposite of Kyungsoo, he wasn’t sure what to do. He just stared at the god casually staring at him, lean muscles expanding ever so slightly as he crossed his arms against his chest. And suddenly Kyungsoo remembered the way that Jongin had looked in the pale moonlight, completely naked and hovering over his mother’s guest, taking her from behind. It had been an obscene picture to take in, but now he couldn’t get that image out of his head.

Kyungsoo found himself blushing, trying very hard to focus on the god’s words without getting distracted for a second, third, or even fourth time.

“Would you like to see the world?” Jongin said, repeating and rephrasing his last suggestion, “It can be very dismal in this small village. I figured that you would want to see more than a dirty stretch of land and a barely visible ocean on the horizon.”

At that, Kyungsoo was surprised once more. He had never seen his hometown like the way Jongin described it, and perhaps it was because Jongin was a god and he a mortal. But whatever the reason, Jongin’s offer was suddenly tempting him and he wasn’t sure that he could resist.

“I don’t think I understand why you’re offering this up.” He finally settled on, telling the truth. It seemed out of the blue for a god like Jongin to approach him – of all people – and though it tempted him enough for him to want to say yes, for him to step out of this house right now and follow Jongin wherever he decided to take him, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was the god’s allure that was drawing him in, or if he was genuinely attracted to the immortal man.

Whatever it was, he needed more information before he said yes to anything.

Jongin sighed, but settled against the wall once more before he was springing up and walking towards Kyungsoo, his walk entirely sensual and predatory. Kyungsoo wondered if it was just Jongin that walked like that, or if all gods did so. He didn’t exactly have the knowledge of the gods to back up his thoughts.

He found himself staring at the way Jongin walked though, completely enthralled and awestruck.

“Is it so bad that a god is interested in showing you more to this life?” and he scoffed then, “It can’t be very interesting, remaining here. Surely you would rather see or do something more entertaining. I’m offering you a way out, if only for a little while.” And though his offer had seemed tempting at first, Kyungsoo didn’t like the way Jongin was phrasing it now – the way that he seemed to look down on his life as if it were worthless, as if the things he did were not as good as what Jongin did.

Immortals would never understand why humans did what they did – and Kyungsoo didn’t think Jongin would ever understand the need and want he had to help his parents by remaining at their sides.

Gods didn’t have familial relations, not like humans did. So Kyungsoo couldn’t expect for a god like Jongin to understand him.

So Kyungsoo said no, and the look on Jongin’s face flashed of sadness for a moment before it was a tempting color of anger. His mouth opened to speak, once, twice, a third time, before he said anything at all. And Kyungsoo waited for his words to fall from his lips, waited to hear what the powerful young god had to say.

“You’re making a mistake.” He whispered, anger still evident in his tone, though he did not scream as Kyungsoo had thought he would, “I’m offering you the world on a platter and you’re saying no.”

At this he just shrugged, “Your world doesn’t appeal to me. Even if I am stuck here, I like it here. I like the people and I like the small market in town. It’s familiar, it’s safe.” Kyungsoo sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he opened them and was staring back at the god, “I don’t want to have to change anything about my life to have you somehow fit into it. Not when I barely even know you.”

At this, Kyungsoo saw the look of shock on the god’s face. And at first glance, he thought that Jongin was going to explode, that he was going to smite Kyungsoo for saying such things.

But he didn’t, and that was a surprise.

“Okay.” The god said in a whisper, voice low and calm despite what they had been discussing, despite Kyungsoo’s rejection. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if the god had ever been rejected by someone before, and though he was curious to ask such a question, he refrained. It wasn’t appropriate. Not right now, at least.

And then, both of their heads shot up amidst the silence because a shrill voice cried out to her son – asking him if he had gotten anything done.

Kyungsoo gave one look to the god that told him to get out of there immediately, to disappear so that his mortal mother never saw Jongin. What would she say, finding a god in her home? Kyungsoo wondered if she would blame him, or if she would fall on her knees before the god. Or if she would even care at all.

But with that one look, the god didn’t need any further explanation. Jongin didn’t say or do anything before there was a flicker in the lights.

And then he was gone.

~

Captivated:

Jongin grunted as he kicked at the side of the building, creating a dent in the foundation but not harming it more than that, even in his frustration. Behind him he could see Kyungsoo still working, his mother ordering him around like an ass that she couldn’t stand to own, yet still needed. It annoyed Jongin to see the mortal treated like that, especially when he could so easily take the mortal away, so calmly too, and change absolutely everything about the way he lived – for the better.

Or so he thought. There was likely a valid reason why the mortal had declined his offer to travel, to take him from this miserable side village in the remote corner of the world.

Jongin liked the little places. Liked them because there were so many people left unnoticed and so many men and women that would be considered beautiful in other places of the world, but were absolutely drop dead gorgeous in these small holes of cities. And they were so under developed, too. Like Kyungsoo. The mortal man that Jongin couldn’t stop thinking about – or even stop looking at, either.

Here he was, still staring at the mortal from a safe distance, cloaking himself in his godlike abilities. Just to stare at him. Just to stare at him and wonder what it would take for Kyungsoo to say yes. To allow Jongin to take him away from this miserable hovel of a village and wrap him in Jongin’s arms, never letting him go.

When had he fallen for the mortal, he wondered?

Had it been in the first night the two exchanged glances – when Jongin was nailing that mortal woman from behind, nearly lost in bliss – or had it been in the past few weeks that Jongin had snuck here to watch the mortal work, his body layered in sweat from working all day in the sun? Whatever it was, Jongin found himself completely and utterly drawn to the mortal, and without a way to satisfy his need to be close.

Jongin did not want to be rejected again, and so he brooded on what he should do to win the mortal man over.

~

The answer came a few weeks later – when Jongin found himself strolling through Olympus yet again on orders from his father. Zeus needed him much these days, but he had a feeling it was only because his father was trying to keep him from making a mistake on Earth. Zeus knew of his son’s infatuation with the mortal man, and could remember the last time Jongin had fallen for a human.

It had not ended well.

Of course, his father would never take his own advice, to keep a safe distance from mortals and not let oneself fall for them over and over again. Zeus’ several mortal children said as much of how well he listened to himself. Jongin didn’t care though.

He knew that as soon as he finished his father’s tasks for the day, he would go back to that hovel of a town and watch Kyungsoo from a safe distance…

The god hadn’t been paying attention where he was walking until he nearly walked into one of Aphrodite’s retinue – one of the Erotes. He could have laughed at the irony of such a situation, could have laughed because they dealt most especially with homoerotic love, and all that was on his mind was Kyungsoo. All that was on his mind was securing the mortal to him in every possible way imaginable.

“You look a little lost, son of Zeus.” The god said, a quirky grin displaying on his face. He cocked his head to the side, his wings surfacing just behind his shoulders. Jongin didn’t know this god’s name – he didn’t usually bother to learn the names of the lesser gods unless they became a problem – so he was a little lost in that sense. But more so in the sense that he was lost on what to do about Kyungsoo. The mortal man that seemed to hold every thought in his immortal mind. Every second of every day for the past several weeks.

Jongin was a little bit of a mess, not completely himself.

“I suppose you could say that.” He answered in reply, wondering where the lesser god was going with this.

The god laughed and then shook his head, wrapping an arm around Jongin’s shoulder and pulling him ever closer. Jongin would have thrown him off if it weren’t for the words he uttered.

“What would you say if I told you I could help you win the mortal over? My goddess has a thing for little lost hearts such as yours. She would be willing to help you out, to win over your mortal lover.”

Jongin scoffed at that, shrugging out from under the other god’s arm and taking a step back.

“He isn’t my lover.”

“But you wish he was.” And the winged god raised an eyebrow in Jongin’s direction. He was completely unaware and unafraid of what Jongin could do to him if he grew angry – he did not care that Jongin was the son of Zeus, the King of the Gods, and that with one word Jongin could strike him down. Of course, such a thing would incur the wrath of Aphrodite. And he certainly didn’t want that.

That was probably why the winged god was being so bold. Jongin was more afraid of the goddess’ wrath than anything else. Jongin – like many other gods – was a slave to his emotions.

“And so what if I do?” Jongin asked.

He laughed and shook his head, spreading his arms wide just as he did his wings before saying, “I can help that become a reality, son of Zeus.” The god winked at him, “It will come with a price, but I am sure you’ll be willing to pay it.”

It took Jongin a little while to answer the winged god, but after a few minutes had passed of deliberating, he narrowed his eyes and cleared his throat.

“Tell me what I need to do.”

~

He didn’t like it, didn’t like it whatsoever, but when the god had taken him to Aphrodite and she had told Jongin what he needed to do to win over the mortal man, he had agreed to whatever price needed to be paid.

He was feeling a little desperate at this point, just wanting to be close to the man that he couldn’t stop thinking about.

The image running through his mind was of him trailing his fingers lazily down Kyungsoo’s spin, watching him shiver from Jongin’s touch. The image was more developed than that – much more intimate of an image than he had had in a very long time. He hadn’t imagined he would feel quite like this, not since the last time he had taken a mortal lover. And had really taken one – not these one night escapades that allowed him to feel release for a few hours each night. Those weren’t important to him and they did not end in anything, either. He was always careful never to sire children from those nights.

But if it had been a possibility, he would have liked to sire children with Kyungsoo. To see the little things running around and destroying things like little beasts.

The thought had Jongin laughing for a moment before he realized that even if it were possible to be with Kyungsoo – to win his heart – that one thing was still an ultimate impossibility. Even Aphrodite could not go against biology. She may have been the goddess of love and desire, but she did not have control over genetics.

Jongin gritted his teeth as he came closer, looking down at his clothing and wondering if this was really going to work.

Sighing, he approached the door and was grateful that it was Kyungsoo’s mother that opened it for him rather than Kyungsoo himself. He feared the mortal man would toss him away, tell him to get away from there and to never come back. He hadn’t exactly reacted well the last time the two had parted. Even if the last time Jongin had asked him to travel the world with him – to see more than this dingy little village.

He worked up to tell his story – however fake it may have been – and hoped that the mortal woman accepted his story and allowed him passage inside. Aphrodite had told him the only way to grow closer to the mortal was to become like him. Not necessarily mortal, but to act like one. And so he came with poor clothing and his power sealed away deep within his body, to appear like a man in need of work and shelter.

For a moment he thought the woman was going to turn him away, to tell him that there was no room for him here.

But then her face softened and she seemed to feel something for him and his story. Jongin would not have expected that from the woman that had ordered her son around all day, every day. The same woman that Kyungsoo seemed so afraid to disobey, yet also afraid to abandon at the same time. Jongin hoped he would be able to delve deeper into their relationship the longer he stayed with them.

That is, if Kyungsoo didn’t insist on him leaving. He was hoping the mortal’s mother allowed him to stay despite Kyungsoo’s feelings towards him.

“Come in, young man.” The mortal woman said, having absolutely no idea that this “young man” was several centuries older than she was. He bowed his head in thanks before following after her, letting the door fall closed behind him.

In the next moment, she was yelling for her son, telling him they had a new guest and that he must ready his room. Jongin was confused for a moment until the mortal man came walking out of his room, curiosity flashing across his face. He stepped out of the room that Jongin remembered from so those months ago.

The same room that Jongin had taken that woman, and the same room that Kyungsoo had walked into while Jongin was doing so.

The mortal man narrowed his eyes on Jongin before he was turning his back without a word, closing the door behind himself. Jongin could hear him moving things around, but the fact that he had seen him, and then Kyungsoo had refused to say anything spoke measures beyond what words could. Kyungsoo didn’t want him here – that much was clear.

The mortal woman apologized on behalf of her son, telling him that Kyungsoo was sweet and kind usually, but that it took him a while to get used to new guests in their home.

“Do you have guests over for very long then?” Jongin asked, trying to act innocently.

She shrugged, such a casual reply, before she motioned him into their small kitchen and started to make something for him to eat, commenting on how hungry he must be and commenting on how thin he looked, though he wasn’t thin in reality. It was a disguise to make her feel bad for him. He supposed it had worked, especially as she had taken him willingly into her home without Jongin having to use any sort of compulsion on her. He didn’t like tricking mortal – women or men – despite the usual reputation gods received from humans.

Setting a plate down in front of Jongin, the mortal woman sighed before taking a seat herself, nodding for him to eat what she had placed in front of him though it wasn’t much. He appreciated the hospitality and began eating slowly as he listened.

“We try to take in as many people as need help. Our village is small and many lose their jobs and homes often. We had a friend stay with us a few weeks ago that had just lost her husband and her job security in the market. She’s only just left us after she found a job as an innkeeper in another town close by.” Jongin knew which woman she was talking about and found it interesting, yet not surprisingly whatsoever that the woman he had slept with all those weeks ago had just lost her husband. Death and grief made people do and say strange things.

Jongin couldn’t and wouldn’t blame the woman for wanting some connectivity – especially with a god.

“My husband is…sick.” She said the words slowly, and Jongin could tell that they were not completely true. There was some truth to them, he could tell that much, but there was something she was hiding. And he did not hold that against her. He did not expect her to tell him her whole life story. But he was curious about her son and the way they lived. Especially as it meant getting closer to Kyungsoo.

“I am sorry to hear that.” Jongin replied, head down as he said the words. But the woman just let out a soft laugh, almost like it was funny. He would have asked why she laughed if it weren’t for the slamming of a door and then a man walking across the room toward them. Kyungsoo.

“The room is ready. I’m going out to the market for more vegetables, we’re running low.” And then the man was gone, closing the front door behind himself and not caring for the curiosity sparking in Jongin’s mind. Where was he really going? And was it just because Kyungsoo wanted to avoid Jongin, or some other reason?

Jongin didn’t give Kyungsoo’ mother that much of a chance to apologize for her son’s actions before he was excusing himself and going after him.

~

“I didn’t say that you could follow me.” Kyungsoo murmured, knowing that the god was following closely after him. He didn’t seem to let up ever, and though Kyungsoo had thought the god had given up on him weeks ago, here he was again. Asking to stay in his own home as a guest, even.

If the god really cared about him, wouldn’t he have known that Kyungsoo had to give up his own bed and own room to house his mother’s guests? If the god really cared, wouldn’t he have just apologized for his selfish words?

“Unfortunately, that is not how these things work. And you know that very well.” Kyungsoo did know that – the god, Jongin, did whatever he so pleased. Whenever he pleased.

Maybe that was why Kyungsoo was a little attracted and drawn to him. Because he seemed to have everything figured out – and he seemed to be comfortable in his body and in his life. Whereas Kyungsoo struggled with accepting himself most days. Struggled in accepting the lot he had been given.

Even if he didn’t mind helping his mother and father out, there were some days he wished that things were different. Not very often, but it was all the same.

The two were quiet for quite some time, not uttering a word and the only sound between them each other’s breathing. Despite moving up the hill that led into the main market plaza, neither were winded at the end of it. One of them was a god and Kyungsoo was a man that had walked these roads since he was young. His lungs and body had grown used to the effort.

It was only once they had gotten into the market that Kyungsoo really felt Jongin’s eyes boring into the back of his skull. He had been casually looking at him the entire walk up there, eyes roaming the back of his body, but now it really seemed like he couldn’t take his eyes off of Kyungsoo’s back, and that made him feel uncomfortable for a moment.

Why was this god so infatuated and interested in him? He couldn’t understand it, and probably wouldn’t for a while.

“This is where you shop?” Jongin asked, eyebrow lifting strangely as he did so. Was it disgust Kyungsoo read on his face, or something else? He couldn’t truly tell. Not when it came to Jongin.

“Yes.” Silence.

Jongin cleared his throat again and then Kyungsoo was looking back at the god, wondering what was on his mind. This was probably the longest the two had spent together. Because even when they had been washing the dishes a few weeks ago, that had been a quick and painful time together. Kyungsoo still remembered – of course he did – why he was angry with the god.

He would just never understand the connection mortals had to their roots. He – an immortal god – would never understand Kyungsoo’s responsibility to his family.

“I misjudged your mother,” Jongin said, clearing the silence again as the two walked past uninteresting stalls within the market. Kyungsoo had a set goal in mind – to take Jongin to the very edge of the market and tell him to get lost. But he paused when he heard Jongin say that. He didn’t have the chance to ask how so before the god was explaining his thought process. “I had thought she was unkind at first, ordering you around like she owned you.” The god shook his head, “But she cares very deeply.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t very sure what to say about that.

“And…” the god paused, “I apologize for the things I said those weeks ago. I had not meant to hurt you in any way. I do not know how to be human, do not truly know the first thing about being human, in fact. But I hope that with time, you’ll be able to teach me.”

For a god as powerful as Jongin – because Kyungsoo knew the god was powerful – it was interesting to hear such things. He was not only admitting to being wrong, but also asking to be taught what humans were like. Kyungsoo knew most gods, if not all of them, were not likely to admit or ask such things. Gods were jealous and ravenous and selfish. Kyungsoo knew that, and yet here he was almost in the palm of this god’s hands, coming undone because of a simple apology.

Something was intrinsically wrong with him.

“I can teach you, but that doesn’t mean I forgive you. Not yet.” He answered after a short while, turning around and finally facing the god. They had come almost to the end of the long road that was home to so many stalls, selling all sorts of things from food to clothes to books. There weren’t many paying attention to the two, though Kyungsoo did recognize a few curious glances. Several people that knew who he and his parents were, and obviously wondering who this other youth was – though Jongin was far from young.

Kyungsoo knew Jongin had to be several centuries old. He was a god, and no matter how Kyungsoo felt towards him, there would always be this distance between them.

Mortal and immortal. There was no changing how Fate had destined either of them.

“I accept that.” The god answered, nodding his head very slowly. Kyungsoo knew that he had to be curious as to what would make him forgive Jongin, but he wasn’t about to disclose that information. Not yet, and probably not ever if the god continued to be selfish. Though Kyungsoo knew he was trying very hard not to at the moment. He was doing a decent job.

“Very well then.” Kyungsoo settled on, sighing loud enough for one of the stall owners nearby to turn his head in their direction. It looked like he was going to try to get them to buy something, so Kyungsoo grabbed the god’s arm, not caring for the proximity or physical aspect of the touch. He just wanted to move. “Let’s go.” And so Jongin followed after him.

Kyungsoo did not fail to notice the still-burning look he felt in the back of his head. Jongin looked at him and only him.

And for some reason, he felt a blush rising on his cheeks and neck because of it.

~

Indulgence:

It had been weeks now since Jongin had come to stay with his family. And his mother absolutely adored the god – and didn’t even realize that an immortal was living beneath her roof.

It had been hard at first, sleeping on that couch every night and not feeling absolutely enraged that a god slept in his bed when he could have had it to himself. It had been hard to come to terms with all of it – the fact that Jongin felt the need to come into his home just to try to understand how mortals lived. And yet, he was still treated as a guest and given the most care, while Kyungsoo’s mother still gave him so much work to do.

It was getting better though, getting better in the sense that Jongin actually pulled his weight around the house. He cleaned and helped build the wall that Kyungsoo’s mother wanted up – because she could finally afford the supplies to build a wall that she had always wanted, blocking her property from the nosy neighbors’ eyes that lived along the street. Kyungsoo was in charge of building it, and Jongin helped him, lending him a hand and even going so far as to do most of the work when Kyungsoo’s mother wasn’t looking.

Kyungsoo found himself in awe of the god – because really, what other god would do a mortal’s labor and still manage to smile like that?

It took a lot of will power for Kyungsoo not to stare too openly at Jongin, to stare at him as he worked and to not notice how his muscles glistened in the setting sun. The work day was nearly at its end and he felt like he had been doing nothing but staring at the god the entire day. He had snuck glances at Jongin while stacking the bricks, while moving the sand from one side of the yard to the other, and even when he went to take a drink, he could not help but watch as Jongin either continued to work – breathing so loud that Kyungsoo thought the man would collapse before him – or took a drink himself, watching as the water drew slowly down into his throat. And then another drop, and another.

Kyungsoo had to cough to hide his little gasp when Jongin proceeded to strip of his borrowed shirt. As if it weren’t bad enough that the god’s arms were glistening in the sun, but now the sky beat down on his entire, naked chest, and Kyungsoo could not drink enough water to satisfy his thirst.

He tried to look away, but Jongin seemed to know he was hiding his eyes from glancing over at him.

“You wouldn’t be so red in the face if you weren’t wearing all of that.” Jongin said, nodding toward Kyungsoo’s attire. And maybe he had dressed a bit more reserved today. Maybe he was hiding his own body for fear of rejection.

Though, what rejection was he thinking about? He couldn’t be rejected if he didn’t even ask the burning question in his mine.

 _Be mine._ He wanted to say – he wanted to ask, really. But he also wanted to demand, to take and keep. Was it blasphemous to want to keep a god? Maybe it was, but if that was the case, Kyungsoo would go down to Hades a sinner, and he wouldn’t even mind.

He often wondered why he didn’t just say the words he was thinking aloud. But then he remembered what there was to lose – what loving a god meant. He had never seen it before, but he knew the stories, knew the consequences of loving a god.

No one ever really lived to tell the tale. All the stories were passed down from rumors and family members, friends that had witnessed the affairs burn down.

Gods were destructive and consuming. They took all of what a mortal had to offer and then crushed it in their fists like it was nothing. Kyungsoo had memorized as a child the stories of the great love affairs with gods – he romanticized them and even prayed to have a love so bright and fierce as the ones told in stories. But then he had seen the way love had consumed his elder brother – and even though he had fallen for a mortal just like himself, his brother had been so entirely infatuated and taken over by that love that he hadn’t been able to think of anything else.

His brother had gone days without eating just so he could save up money to send secretly to his lover. And his brother had nearly killed himself worrying if she was okay at home, where destructive guardians and abuse met her.

And when Kyungsoo’s brother had finally ran away with her – with enough saved money to keep them afloat while he found a job in a bigger city – his mother had wept. Kyungsoo didn’t understand love because his mother had loved, still loved, his elder brother and yet he had not seen that. He had chosen to love this other girl, to put all of his time and effort into this other being that did not even share blood with him.

Kyungsoo had abandoned hoping and praying for a love like that of the gods. He had sworn off of it even, choosing completely to stay with his parents, especially after his father had grown ill, and he had sworn he would love no one but his family until the day he died.

He didn’t even think he had the capability to love anyone.

So it was ironic and damning when Kyungsoo saw Jongin that night – even as he was bent behind one of Kyungsoo’s mother’s guests. It was ironic that even at first glance Kyungsoo knew this man could destroy him. Knew it and fought against it so much that he wanted to pound his fists into the air and ask _why me_?

“Did you not hear me?” Jongin asked after a while, taking Kyungsoo from his thoughts. He had nearly forgotten the god had said something, far too wrapped up in his own self pity party to truly pay attention. Had the god ever been ignored before?

And had any mortal ever lived to tell of it afterward?

“No, I apologize.” Kyungsoo said quickly, going around the god and trying not to focus on the way his skin glistened. Gods only sweat when they wanted to, he had to remind himself. So obviously there was some motivation behind this.

Jongin scoffed, the sound echoing through Kyungsoo’s head and making him still for a second as he lifted another sack of dirt, dragging it across the small expanse of their property. Despite living in such a poor village, his family was one of the most well off. Even with his eldest brother having run away from home, and even with his father being ill, unable to work.

Kyungsoo remembered briefly what his mother needed to do to create this sanctuary for them and all others in need. And it angered him even more that this god was mooching off of their generosity – if only because the god was interested in wooing him.

He was a nobody and would never deserve a god’s attention – but he was also of the mind that the god’s did not deserve mortals’ love, either.

“You told me weeks ago that you would teach me how to be mortal.” Jongin said, which made Kyungsoo raise his head from what he was doing, curious as to where the god was going with this, “But the way you’re acting…seems far more godly than I would have thought.”

At that, Kyungsoo’s eyes narrowed and his brow crumpled.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked, trying not to let the hostility show in his voice.

The god laughed and shook his head, not able to hold back a small fit of laughter before he answered Kyungsoo.

“That right there. Gods are serious and hard, uncaring even. And here you are with a completely serious face, trying to act as if nothing at all affects you. I know this affects you,” and the god gestured down at his glittering torso, which only made Kyungsoo cringe, still trying hard not to look, “And I know that you’ve been sleeping on that Hades’ damned couch for the past few weeks, even though there is a perfectly good bed in the next room.”

At that, Kyungsoo stood absolutely still. He hadn’t even realized that Jongin would care about such a thing. The thought had never even crossed his mind. In fact, he had been angry thinking that the god hadn’t even cared a tiny bit about the fact that Kyungsoo had given up his bed for him, even if it was on his mother’s instruction.

“I…” but he didn’t know what to say before Jongin was interrupting his already messy thoughts.

“I won’t let it happen anymore.” Jongin said softly, voice turning from grave and absolutely serious to soft and maybe even a little warm. He meant what he said, and it definitely had an ounce of human emotion lying behind the words. Kyungsoo could tell that he was completely serious, and that he meant everything he was saying.

He wasn’t too sure what that meant for him, not yet, but he was surprised to see Jongin acting – emoting – like a human.

“Okay.” Was all Kyungsoo replied with, setting the sand bag down where he was standing. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to work the rest of the day, not when all of his thoughts were focused on Jongin. And not even just his body anymore. But…all of him.

And he didn’t want to admit that in those few moments, he hadn’t seen Jongin as a god. No, he had seen him as a person with a heart. And that scared him because he knew that was how it all started.

That was how mortals fell in love with gods.

~

Sorrow:

Jongin had been with them for nearly two months when Kyungsoo began to forgive him. And really, it was such an idiotic reason originally to be angry with the god. He had wanted to travel with Kyungsoo, to show him the world, and to…love him, really. But, to Kyungsoo, it had just seemed extravagant and overdone. It had been far too soon, far too early for the things that Jongin had offered him.

And yet, Kyungsoo found himself wanting some of those opportunities now. He especially felt it when he was sitting on the couch in the living room that night, cool breeze running through the entire room with the windows open even a little. It was starting to grow cold out – and Kyungsoo knew autumn was approaching quickly.

“Kyungsoo.” A voice said in a whisper, just behind him. He was startled out of his place in his book for a moment, eyes going wide as he glanced back to see Jongin standing there with his borrowed clothes fitting loosely on his frame. They were borrowed from Kyungsoo’s father, a man that – though he was almost just as tall as the god – was far thicker than Jongin probably ever would be. The clothes hung loose on his body, one shoulder dipping down to reveal the god’s collarbones. Kyungsoo found it hard not to stare.

And at such an innocent part of his body, too.

“What is it Jongin?” for the past few nights, Kyungsoo had heard the god rolling around in bed, trying so hard to find a comfortable place to sleep. The bed was not entirely too small that the god could fall off in doing so, but Kyungsoo was sure it was much smaller than the beds Jongin was used to. Especially as he was a god that had likely slept with many lords and ladies. Shared beds with Kings and Queens alike.

Kyungsoo found himself growing jealous for an insurmountable reason. But he ignored the feeling and let Jongin speak freely – let him push his worries on him without resentment.

“Come to bed.” And Kyungsoo was struck by the absolute desperation in the god’s voice. He sat silent, just staring at him with wide eyes as he tried to determine if he was being serious or not.

“What?” he wondered aloud, trying to sort this out in his head.

“Come to bed.” Jongin repeated. “It’s not fair that you have to give up your home and bed for me. Not when I don’t deserve it. Especially when doing so makes you sit and sleep out here when I am in there.” He jutted his chin towards the other room, his whisper quiet enough that Kyungsoo knew it wouldn’t wake his parents. “Come to bed and just sleep with me. Just for tonight.”

Kyungsoo – without even hearing the rest of what could have possibly been on Jongin’s mind – knew what this would mean. He knew that even though the god told him to “just sleep” it was still a line to be crossed.

And he knew that he was weak enough to not only agree to the god’s suggestion, but also to lie awake all night thinking about how he was only inches away.

And how easy it would be to reach over and lay a hand on his face…or even to press his lips against Jongin’s…

“I…” Kyungsoo said instead, but was interrupted yet again by the god’s hand on his wrist, dragging him up from where he sat and crushing him against him before opening the door and making him step through into his room. Kyungsoo was surprised by the fast action, but did not fight it.

There was a part of him – and he was pretty sure that part was winning out right now – that did not want to fight against the god. Not when he looked so desperate and lonely when asking him to come to bed.

“Just for tonight. And then you can have the bed and I can sleep on the couch, or you can continue to be a stubborn human.” Jongin’s words were whispered, but they still made Kyungsoo blink back in surprise, still unsure how to respond. He hadn’t exactly planned for something like this, and how were they supposed to…? Kyungsoo found himself looking at the bed, confused. It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t exactly large either. There would be enough space between them, sure, but Kyungsoo could just imagine how the two would end up in the morning, and suddenly a fierce blush was rising on his cheeks, which he hid with a cough and then in going immediately to climb into the bed.

“Just tonight.” Kyungsoo said in a whisper as soon as he had turned his back to Jongin, letting the blanket drape over his body slowly. He didn’t watch to see what Jongin’s reaction was, didn’t turn to watch the god move and make the bed dip with his weight. No, instead he turned his back and continued to face the opposite wall, pretending as if this was completely normal.

Even though his heart was beating wildly in his chest and he was pretty sure Jongin could hear it.

It was silent for quite a while before Jongin finally said something – and when he did, his breath swept warmly across Kyungsoo’s neck, raising the hairs on his nape and making his eyes widen, more alert than he had been since first meeting Jongin.

“Thank you.” He whispered slowly, breath caressing Kyungsoo’s neck and making him shiver for a brief moment, which obviously the god caught, making him pause. Neither of them said a word further, not even a “good night” to one another.

No, instead Kyungsoo tried to sleep. He tried forgetting that a powerful god was lying beside him. And he tried to forget how very attracted and possibly in love he was with Jongin.

He wouldn’t fall prey to his charms and gods damned good looks. No, not tonight, and hopefully not any other night after.

~

Kyungsoo was a fool.

He was a fool to believe that this would be a one night thing, a fool to believe that he did not harbor feelings for the god, and a fool to believe that his feelings would not come in the way of his every day life. Especially when it came to Jongin.

And Jongin was everywhere.

He was in the kitchen the next morning after he awoke the first time, and he was in the kitchen every morning afterwards, as well. While Kyungsoo still slept, Jongin was awake and helping Kyungsoo’s mother prepare breakfast.

The thing was – Jongin was usually a late sleeper, and here he was looking more energized than he had in so many weeks. Kyungsoo wondered what it was, but didn’t let himself be fooled again by thinking it had anything to do with him.

He wasn’t about to become victim to a feeling that he had sworn off of.

Jongin was also everywhere else, as well. He was in the market – following after Kyungsoo almost like a lost puppy while he went to buy the food for the day. He was in the yard when Kyungsoo was simply moving bags of sand here and there, trying to clear away debris that the wind had blown in over night. The days were getting colder, the wind harsher especially now that autumn was upon them, and with each passing day Kyungsoo just felt more and more drawn to Jongin.

When night came, the god would not even speak the words, asking for Kyungsoo to join him in bed. It was almost an unspoken agreement between them now. Jongin would keep the door open until Kyungsoo had finally found his way inside the room, tucking himself in under the blankets and burying his head into one of the pillows along the headboard.

And every so often, Jongin would rest an arm around Kyungsoo’s middle, and he would find himself burrowing deeper into the god’s chest, not even caring for the lack of distance. He was too tired to complain, too tired to put up that wall of his, and he found himself even going so far as to sigh in contentment when Jongin wrapped an arm around him, when Jongin buried his face in Kyungsoo’s back and breathed him in.

His mother had an inkling of what was going on between them, but she said very little of it. She was not one to judge, not when she had seen so many different kinds of love in her many years. And for that, Kyungsoo was grateful. But, on the other hand, he did not want this to become a regular thing. He did not want to become so used to Jongin’s presence in his bed that he would grow depressed and lonely without him there.

A god’s love was not eternal, despite the fact that they were immortal.

Kyungsoo could not hope to be loved by this god – no, not forever. This was a moment, a passing moment at that, and he had to stay on this straight path without getting distracted.

If he allowed for Jongin to distract him and take him from this path, he would be lost.

But maybe he wanted to get a little lost.

“You’re quiet tonight.” Jongin whispered at his back, as the two settled into bed. His parents had long gone to sleep and there wasn’t a sound in the entire house except for the sound of their breathing, and then the wind blowing across the house outside. The windows were closed because of the chill, and the house creaked every so often, a storm threatening them on the horizon.

“I don’t really have much to say.” Kyungsoo whispered back. But Jongin seemed to sigh and shake his head.

“I know that’s not true.” And as much as that was true – as much as Jongin called it right on target – Kyungsoo wasn’t about to admit that. He didn’t like admitting his feelings, and how much he honestly, truly wanted to say something about how much he actually enjoyed Jongin’s presence there with him in bed.

How it had become a small comfort, and how he was scared even thinking of letting Jongin go – of releasing him to live his life however he wanted to.

And yet, he also had to wonder why the god was still here, and why he seemed to care so much and so deeply for him despite the fact that he was mortal, despite the fact that he would grow old when Jongin did not even age a day.

Kyungsoo didn’t want to continue thinking about that though, didn’t really want to continue thinking at all at the moment, so he just sighed.

“Good night, Jongin.” He murmured, huddling closer to the god in bed and trying not to let the more sensible part of him scream and cringe away from the contact. Half of him wondered what to even call this sort of relationship – was it a relationship at all? While the other half of him just told him to shut up and sleep already.

A few minutes had passed, and he was already dozing off into sleep, wrapped up in Jongin’s strong arms, pressed up against his chest with his eyes closed, before he heard the faintest whisper.

“Sweet dreams, Kyungsoo.”

~

In the morning, Jongin laid in bed content for a while. He always woke early now, whereas before he had met Kyungsoo he had slept for more than a good sum of the day, waiting until the sun was halfway in the sky, waiting until the day was nearly halfway done.

But now he woke with a vigor – a set goal in mind. He wanted to wake to watch Kyungsoo sleep, his lips trembling slightly with each intake of breath. He wanted to watch the slight movement of the mortal man’s chest as he slept there before him, their limbs tangled together and the warmth of Kyungsoo’s body right there against his.

Jongin could barely remember the last time he had stayed long enough to watch any of his mortal lovers wake from their slumber. He always either left after he finished with them, or left before they even had the chance to wake from their sleep. But with Kyungsoo it was different. The two of them had yet to actually sleep together – in the more physical sense of the word. This was just…sleeping. But it was also breathing together. It was finding comfort in each other’s warmth, and Jongin was sure that Kyungsoo wasn’t averse to sleeping beside him. At least, not anymore. Why else would he continue doing so every night for the past two weeks?

And so, the words that slipped out of Jongin’s mouth that morning when he saw Kyungsoo stretch and breath a sigh…well, they weren’t the words that he meant to say.

Or maybe he did mean to say them, but then why did he feel this crushing sense of regret and sorrow upon letting the words escape? Why did he feel like his chest was going to cave in when Kyungsoo responded to the three simple words that Jongin whispered?

“I love you.” Jongin had sighed – words so gentle, sweet, and caring that in any other circumstances they would have been met with the same, a reaction that would have been answered maybe with an “I love you, too.”

But instead it was met with, “What?”

Jongin’s face fell as he looked over at Kyungsoo – looked over and saw the face that the mortal man wore as an expression. It was a mix of surprise and something else that Jongin couldn’t quite fathom. It was a human emotion that he had yet to come across, had yet to see flash across Kyungsoo’s face. And maybe that was a good thing, but all he felt building in his stomach was a deep regret for saying those words.

So it was only natural for him to flee, and for the next words out his mouth to be a muttered, “I’m sorry.”

~

Solace:

Jongin was gone for two days before he came to his senses.

It took him too days to think through everything that had happened, and to wonder exactly what Kyungsoo’s response had meant – what his frail “what?” had meant in relation to Jongin’s confession. And it had been a confession, too, because what else could he have called it?

Jongin did love him – more than he had probably loved any other mortal in all of his immortal life. He remembered his last lover, the one he had come across after she had been brutally murdered by a band of men. They had paid for what they did to her, had paid dearly with their lives. And Jongin had made sure that they received nothing but brutality upon their descent into Hades’ territory. His uncle had only asked for little in return for sending them to Asphodel, and his half sister Persephone had only grinned viciously at his request, wanting nothing more than to see those men burned and tortured for harming Jongin’s now deceased lover.

Remembering his past lovers was painful – his mind so full of painful memories. Jongin had been apathetic at the beginning, completely and utterly lost in the realm of not caring for anyone or anything in his life. He ventured to earth far too much, slept with far too many, and did not care more for anyone or anything than himself.

Until that first night when he had meant Kyungsoo – all the while he had been taking a girl from behind. In Kyungsoo’s bed.

The memory made him laugh a little – how the mortal man had just stared and refused to say a word. He didn’t stare without reprieve, of course. He glanced for a moment, watching uninterested, before he scoffed at the scene before him and then went to set a slip of paper on the nightstand. He had left only seconds later, leaving Jongin to finish his job and then disappear into the night.

But the mortal had enough of an impact on him that he had returned. Jongin had returned and watched him curiously, wanting nothing more than to get to know him and get close to him.

He had made a mistake at first, and that had cost him severely. It had cost him weeks of Kyungsoo’s precious time.

And it had cost him a deal with the goddess of love – a bargain so that she would help him win over the mortal’s heart. Jongin did not yet know the price of her help, and did not know truly what she had done to make Kyungsoo more open towards him. Because he could see the mortal becoming more open, more carefree in his presence. It was a miracle of sorts, he supposed. Kyungsoo allowing Jongin to share his bed, to share his thoughts and feelings even in the slightest of ways. Aphrodite and her children were surely behind it.

He wondered when the goddess would come to claim her price – and how severe it would be. But he wouldn’t know what that price was if he didn’t return and ask Kyungsoo what he had meant the other day – if he didn’t return and find out how the mortal man felt towards him, truly.

So when Jongin returned, he fell to his knees before the man, and looked up at him – whose eyes were far too wide and surprised. Jongin wondered if Kyungsoo thought he wasn’t coming back.

“I am so sorry.” Jongin said first, his head falling to stare at the ground.

He had walked onto Kyungsoo’s family property to see the man working at finishing off the wall his mother had commissioned of him. It was nearly done, even though it had taken several months to finish. It was the money that was the issue, Jongin knew. Some weeks they didn’t have enough money to buy another set of supplies, which left the project only half done.

But now the wall was coming up, wrapping around the property. Jongin felt it was ironic. While his internal wall was collapsing, this one was being built up, slowly but surely. Kyungsoo was determined to finish it.

And Jongin was determined to help him.

“I meant what I said the other night. Meant it more than you could possibly know.” He started, shaking his head. He was going to try not to regret these words. Because he didn’t regret loving Kyungsoo. “When you…” he shook his head, starting over, “The expression on your face scared me. I thought ‘how could I have possibly just confessed this great thing when he cannot possibly love me back?’. And I worried that you didn’t love me back, because how could you? I am a god, sure, but you are a mortal. There are so many things that could possibly take me from you. Or you from me. I just – .” but Jongin was interrupted then.

“Shut up.” Kyungsoo murmured, his words not so harsh as they were abrupt. Jongin’s eyes widened, looking up at the man and trying to identify the expression and emotion on his face. He still had no clue at all what that emotion flickering in the mortal’s eyes was. He couldn’t find the name for it.

“W-what?” he whispered back, but Kyungsoo shook his head fiercely.

“Shut up, Jongin.” And then, just as abruptly as his words had been, Kyungsoo was bending down towards where he knelt on the ground, and kissed him.

It was like Light springing from Darkness – and Jongin was completely and utterly speechless, just letting the mortal kiss him. And kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him…

When the mortal man pulled away from Jongin, both were wide eyed and surprised. Neither had really seen that coming, not even with the help of the other gods. No matter the bargain with Aphrodite, Jongin never would have imagined actually winning Kyungsoo over – of actually getting the chance to kiss him. So he wasn’t really sure what to say now.

“You…” but even just that small word was interrupted, Kyungsoo doing the talking for once. He was such a quiet, unassuming mortal, but he had something to say now. And Jongin made sure to listen.

“Just shut up. Just shut up, Jongin.” He insisted, “You came into my life by accident. Came into it that night and I haven’t been able to forget you for one moment since then. Do you know how many of my thoughts revolve around you? Do you know how hard I’ve tried to forget you and not fall in love with you? I hate the idea of falling in love, hate it even more because you’re a god and you could disappear at any moment. You could eventually come to the conclusion that I’m not worth your precious immortal time, or that there are far more beautiful or handsome mortals out there worth your attention. Any of that could happen, and I fought so hard against falling in love with you.” He scoffed at himself and Jongin remained silent as he listened, “But then you kept pushing your way in. You were determined, weren’t you? Determined to make me feel something for you, and not only that, but admit it like I am now. You were determined to crush my heart, all the while reviving it at the same time.”

Kyungsoo paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Jongin had never heard him speak so much, nor had he heard him express his feelings for quite so long. His eyes only widened when the man continued.

“And here I am, trying to confess back to you, trying to ask you to stay. Please stay, and please don’t leave again. No matter how bored you get with me. My life is already too short compared to yours, and I think if you leave me again…” Kyungsoo’s eyes were brimming with tears now and Jongin couldn’t stand it anymore.

He stood to his feet, towering over Kyungsoo now, and reached his hands to wipe the tears away, just making more slip into their place, streaming down Kyungsoo’s cheeks before Jongin had the chance to catch them. Jongin didn’t like seeing Kyungsoo cry, and this was merely the first time. He wasn’t sure he could take it again, if it ever did happen again. Jongin bent his lips to Kyungsoo’s flushed skin, kissing away the salty tears and not caring how intimate of a gesture this was. He didn’t care.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Jongin murmured against Kyungsoo’s warm skin, “I won’t leave you.” And he promised that, deep in his soul. He had never voluntarily left one of his mortal lovers. It was always them that left him – whether that was of their own free will, or due to death.

Their confessions and promises were short lived as Kyungsoo’s mother stepped from the house, eyes soft and gentle as she looked at the embrace her son and Jongin were sharing. It was a sentimental moment, and when Jongin glanced up to see her there, he bowed very deeply, showing an immeasurable amount of respect towards her.

“Why don’t you both come inside? I think we have some things to discuss.”

Kyungsoo glanced up at Jongin briefly, a flash of fear striking his face like lightning did the sky. But Jongin just smiled warmly at his lover and placed a hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He had not been truly happy like this in so very long. It had been more than a century since his last lover had died and he had never thought he would achieve bliss like this again. So he pulled Kyungsoo along with him, going to see what the mortal woman had to say…

It was a long conversation, and though Jongin had never intentionally wanted to hide what he was from the woman, not really, he made it a point to tell the truth to her now. He told her of his origins, who he was the son of, and this surprised even Kyungsoo. A son of Zeus, a prince of Olympus, was sitting in their shabby little kitchen in the middle of nowhere. They were both stunned and Kyungsoo’s mother could not stop bowing to him, calling him lord. But he stopped that, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“There’s no need for that. I came to you and asked you for lodging. I lied about my origins at first because I wanted to get to know your son. Now that I have…” and he paused, a small smile stretching his lips, “I wanted to be sure to tell you the truth. It would have come out eventually, anyway. I love your son.” And Jongin didn’t miss the grin that lit up Kyungsoo’s face.

“You have been so good to us.” Kyungsoo’s mother said, continuing to bow and send prayers of thanks towards him. He just shook his head, glancing over at his mortal lover, sharing a look with him. Neither could say a word, until the mortal woman mentioned Jongin taking her son away from her.

“Please, if you take him away from us, treat him well.” She said simply, but Jongin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and he shook his head.

“No, no.” he started, “I don’t plan on taking him away. He’s all that you have.” And the mortal woman seemed to be on the verge of tears. Such rich emotions crossed her features and now Jongin understood the emotions that had flickered across Kyungsoo’s face before. Devotion and thanks perhaps, is what he could have called them. But it was also more than that, and he still did not know the whole of it. It would take more than a few months, maybe even more than a few years for Jongin to understand the full capacity of human emotion. Maybe he would never understand it completely.

“Jongin…” Kyungsoo whispered beside him, and it was such a frail, unassuming whisper that it took all he had not to get down on his knees and listen to what Kyungsoo would ask of him. He was so completely in love with the mortal, more so than he ever would have thought. He waited for Kyungsoo to finish his thought, “What do you plan to do here, if you don’t want to take me away?”

The god was struck then, of the thought and memory of Kyungsoo’s original refusal to go with him anywhere. His question was less of him begging to remain here, and more wondering what else Jongin could possibly want here, if he had originally wanted to travel the world with Kyungsoo and show him things outside this dreary village. It seemed to him that it was Kyungsoo accepting the possibility of leaving this place, but also hoping Jongin wanted to stay.

And he could see it in Kyungsoo’s mother’s eyes as well – hoping that this powerful god, a son of Zeus – did not take her youngest child away.

“I just want to be with you. I don’t care what that entails. If it means working in the market for a living, building walls around the entire village with you, or simply waking up to you every morning.” Jongin had nearly forgotten that the mortal woman was there, but he sighed and turned back to her, “If you and your husband are willing, I would stay here with you. I would help cook and clean, help build the rest of that wall.” He jutted his chin towards the front of their home, “I would do anything you ask of me. It does not matter whether I am a god or not. I will help in any way possible.”

There was a round of silence in the house and then there was a lurching cough and a door was opening. All of their heads picked up, eyes all wide as they saw Kyungsoo’s father finally make an appearance, standing there on the threshold of his room. The door had not been opened many times since Jongin had arrived, and in fact he had never even met the man.

But when he stood there, sick and frail and seemingly ready to cough up his lungs, his voice came to a jolt above their shocked silence.

“You take care of my young man.” He said, voice stopping when he coughed, the mortal woman he called wife getting up to go to him. He waved her away, taking a step forward, but still holding onto the frame of the door. His face had softened and his voice, trying to go for a whisper, sounded more like a dying cat’s last purr, “Please take care of him.”

Jongin could understand the man’s words – could at least understand the emotion behind them. Because it was desperation in his voice that Jongin sensed, and he had felt the same thing so many other times in his life that he knew it without even having to guess. He had felt desperation when his first lover had died – the feeling of just wanting him back. And then again and again with his few lovers after that. All mortal and all so fragile. He had felt desperate to save them in some manner, and yet he had failed at such a simple thing. To keep them alive.

He felt that now, with Kyungsoo, but he was stronger than he used to be, wasn’t he? He could pull some strings, keep him safe until he grew old. Jongin wanted to make sure that his lover lived a peaceful, yet vibrant life with him. Not some half-assed attempt at happiness that only ended in destruction.

“I will.” Jongin promised Kyungsoo’s father, and beside him he could see from the corner of his eye Kyungsoo’s expression of relief, as if he almost expected Jongin to say no. Jongin turned in the next moment to bury his face and lips in Kyungsoo’s neck, making the poor man blush and squirm beneath his touch. He only chuckled before whispering against his skin, “I promise.”

~

Jongin had expected nothing more of the night. He hadn’t expected Kyungsoo’s mother to make them a meal filled with nearly every rich ingredient she owned – telling the two that it was a day for celebration, and of thanks. He had tried to protest, telling her that there was no need, but she just shook her head, demanding he sit down and eat.

He hadn’t tried to argue with the mortal woman further after that.

It was later that night, sitting up in bed with Kyungsoo that Jongin felt such astounding happiness. He had found a place where he belonged, a place he never wanted to leave. And though he wanted to take Kyungsoo with him around the world, to travel to unknown places and to climb mountains, he was content to just lie there beside the man, watching his chest move up and down.

Kyungsoo had fallen asleep after a long conversation between the two – talking about what would happen next, and Jongin being adamant on just letting the wind take them where it would. Fate had a crazy way of bringing people together and he was just glad it had brought him to Kyungsoo. Jongin only hoped that the Fates let him remain at his lover’s side.

Unfortunately, with the sound of birds wings flapping precariously outside – a sound that was not natural so late at night – Jongin knew that bliss and happiness was going to be short lived.

He had one idea of who it would be waiting for him outside the small house, and he feared what her price would be for the advice she had given him, and also the time she had allowed him to spend with Kyungsoo, all the while distracting Jongin’s father from knowing he had disappeared. Only a few gods could convince the King of Olympus that there was nothing amiss, and Aphrodite happened to be one of them.

“Yes, my Lady?” Jongin asked upon stepping out of the small house. Before he had gotten up from bed, he had kissed Kyungsoo’s forehead, tucking him into the blankets and smoothing a hand down his back, hoping this would not take long and that Aphrodite did not ask for a price that he could not pay.

The goddess was beautiful – obviously one of the most beautiful in all of Olympus. Jongin remembered the wars that had been fought between mortals because of her, and he wondered if this would be the cause of another war between the gods. If she asked him for more than he could pay, he would go to the ends of the earth to not only protect his lover, but also to make her pay for tricking him.

He truly hoped that was not the case here.

“I told you the mortal would fall in love with you.” She said, quirking her head to the side with a faint smile. If Jongin blinked, she appeared blonde in one moment, and in the next she was brunette. Aphrodite appeared as how the viewer wanted her to appear. She appeared as the most beautiful woman on earth, but for those that weren’t necessarily attracted to women, she appeared more masculine. It was why she was dangerous. She could make anyone see what they wanted – a trick, and illusion. And the goddess had a way with words too. She always got what she wanted – no matter the cost to anyone else.

“You did.” Jongin replied, waiting for her to say the words, to tell him by what price he needed to pay. But the goddess just chuckled, shaking her head.

“Had you waited long enough, you would have seen that he was already falling for you, Jongin.” She said in a dainty voice. “Would have seen that you needed no help from me whatsoever. I did give him a push in the right direction, though. I whispered in his mind that love was not as bad as he thought it was. Whispered that loving a god would be worth his time.” The goddess quirked a dangerous smile – triumphant already without having named her price. “There is still the price of my help, though. Maybe you’ll see it as less than what was owed, or maybe you’ll see it as more than what you can handle to give up. Either way, a price must be paid.”

Jongin remained quiet for quite some time, processing this information – that he could very well have ignored Aphrodite’s help and instead made Kyungsoo fall in love with him, himself. He could have forgone asking the goddess for anything at all. No, instead he had been a fool to believe that she would not trick him into thinking he was lost without her.

Love and lust were a dangerous pair, and sometimes the line was blurred between the two. Aphrodite strode the line between many things, and the one she balanced on right now was between helpful goddess and damned trickster.

“Name your price, Lady. I will pay it, whatever it is.” At that, she only laughed.

Aphrodite strode forward, placing a hand on Jongin’s shoulder. She was shorter than he was, but really not by much. The top of her head reached about his nose, her eyes staring at his neck as if she would lunge forward and like a wolf rip his jugular from his throat. He tried not to cringe at her being so close. Sometimes Aphrodite was said to be more dangerous than Artemis, and his half sister goddess was a huntress.

“Your immortality.” She finally whispered, still circling him. “You must give up your immortality to be with your mortal lover. And it’s not really my price, but I am the one offering you happiness and protection right now. You see, if you do not give up your immortality, you will lose the mortal eventually. He’ll be self conscious and too protective of his heart, though he’s already given it to you half of the way. He won’t understand why he keeps aging and you remain young – he’ll understand it to some extent, he knows that you’re a god, but he won’t understand why the Fates were so cruel to torture him like this.” She clicked a tongue at him, “And when he’s lying on his death bed, he won’t tell you he loves you. He’ll ask why you didn’t help save him from mortality. He’ll ask why you didn’t give up everything to be with him, because that’s what mortals know of love. They know sacrifice and pain.”

Jongin was standing absolutely still, his entire body taut as he listened to the goddess go on and on about what he must give up. And how if he did not, the reaction Kyungsoo would have years from now. She was offering him protection if he only gave up his immortality.

But could he do it?

“If you release your immortality, if you choose to live the rest of your life as a mortal, I will protect you with all of my might. I have a special place in my heart for broken things, for those that love so fiercely as you do. And as your mortal does, too, despite the fact that he does not show it so often. I will pull strings with the Fates if I must, to ensure you both live long lives – you both live meaningful lives at least. I cannot promise you will not die young, or that your lover will not die of some tragedy. But I can promise that the years you two do share will be happy, and that this will be a love you will remember even when you are lost in the Fields of Elysium, or even when you have reached the Isles of the Blessed – it will be a love you will remember in every life you live.” The goddess stopped circling him then, looking into Jongin’s eyes with a question in her own.

She smiled softly, a caress of an expression.

“So?” she asked him, “What do you say?”

And Jongin did not have to think twice – did not have to hear her say the words again, or the promises she had just made. This love was eternal, even if he no longer was. Even if Kyungsoo never would be. Jongin wanted it so badly – he wanted a happy ending. A place where felt safe.

He wanted solace with Kyungsoo, and damn he was going to get it.

“Take it.” he said fiercely. And then even stronger, “Take it and let us be.”

So the goddess only chuckled and placed both of her hands on the sides of the young god’s face, breathing a deep breath before closing her eyes and with that powerful voice of hers, a voice that could make any god do her bidding, she breathed out a command.

“Then let it be.”

~

When he woke in the morning, Jongin was not beside him. And he panicked.

Had the two not just professed their love to one another the day before? Had Jongin not promised just last night – in front of both of Kyungsoo’s parents – that he would promise never to leave him?

So it should have been completely rational when Kyungsoo tore apart their room – and it was their room now, seeing as the two had shared it for near on two months now. He searched for any type of note, any sort of sign that told Kyungsoo where Jongin might have been.

It took him only a few minutes to tear the whole thing apart, to upend several surfaces and to dig under cushions and books and masses of paper. By the end of the few minutes it looked like a creature out of Tartarus had come and destroyed the room. And Kyungsoo was almost to the point of tears before the door opened with a creak and there stood Jongin.

At least in some ways it looked like Jongin.

His eyes no longer gleamed quite so powerful as they had before, his skin no longer seemed lit by a heavenly essence that spoke of his godly origins. He still stood tall, but there were bags beneath his eyes that told Kyungsoo of the exhaustion he must have been suffering from. And he looked so…human in that moment that Kyungsoo could not think of a single word to say upon his appearance. He just stared.

And so Jongin did all the talking.

“I know that you did not fall in love with me like this, and I know that I do not look or probably feel the same way that you knew me to be. I am…” Jongin paused, pain lacing its way into his expression, “I am mortal now, just as you are. And…and if you’ll still have me, I am yours for however long we both shall live. Whether that is until tomorrow, next month, next year, or when we are both eighty. I am yours, and I hope that I can still call you mine.”

Kyungsoo was speechless, not knowing what to say at all. Had the god really given up his immortality? And why?

He had an idea on the why, but he did not feel strong enough to ask the questions burning through his mind, begging him to speak them and offer doubt to both of them standing there. He did not want to doubt anymore, he just wanted to live.

Kyungsoo wanted to live with the person he loved the most – whether he was a god or mortal.

The only response Kyungsoo gave was a step forward – a step into Jongin’s arms – and then a mouth pressed up against his lover’s lips.

It was a desperate kind of kiss – one that he had never experienced before. Their kiss prior had been perhaps a little desperate and too late, but it was a relief to finally kiss Jongin that first time. Now it felt like a prayer, a whisper, an outcry to keep him there by his side. It was everything wrapped into one. It was a home, a safe place, a family.

And when Kyungsoo broke the kiss off, he did so panting and breathless. But he needed to get the words out before he lost himself in another kiss, another desperate fight to keep Jongin right where he wanted him – which was right there in front of him.

“You’re mine.” Kyungsoo said, a fiery passion burning its way up into his throat, which only made tears start forming in his eyes. He had never cried so much in his life. “You’re mine and you’re not leaving again. Not ever.”

At that – at his passionate declaration – Jongin just laughed and shook his head, exhaustion still wearing thin on him.

But he nodded and leaned forward to press another, lighter kiss to Kyungsoo’s lips before he whispered, “I won’t leave you. Not ever.”


End file.
